I scream you Scream



This was a present in the form of a tea-towel for my friend's birthday. Picture is a little crappy, but it's absorbent and that is what counts!

Embroidery is one of the funnest lame-o hobbies I've picked up recently. That and felt beer-coozies.

We're all winners today.

My Royal Proclamation! Today Shall be henceforth known as "Shit in the Office at Night and Don't Let Jenny Know Until The Morning and Then Act All Confused As If I Didn't Know I Totally Shit in the Office" Day!

OH MY GOD SO CUTE. Its things like these that remind me that where a small, black coal lump is now, there was once the heart of a thirteen year old girl. Now I only have the sense of humor of a 13 year old. OH MY GOD IT WEARS ORTHOPEDIC SHOES!

Embroidery is AWESOME!

Ironic? Sincere? Think about THAT for awhile.

this'll be the best halloween EVER

YES!

I hate Juicy Couture, but I love their fragrance campaign.
















JC, of course being those bitches that made those track suits so popular that every wobbly mom-ass in the grocery store proudly swaths their own cottage cheese in soft, soft velour.















Oh, and their website SUCKS. It's got a narration that makes R2D2 sound like Michael Bublee.

So, why then, do they have this? This is fucking AWESOME

I Have CAMERA PROBLEMS.

My camera seems to believe that my head is in fact, a lumpy blob of dough whereas I know my head to be pretty good lookin'. I haven't been able to find the menu option "misshapen" so it must be a factory setting... I'll keep that in mind when I buy my next camera.

Death and Crafts
My curtain rod in my bedroom fell off the wall and onto my noggin a while ago, so today I figured I'd embellish the curtains before I put them back up. I originally bought such an ugly pattern for girly irony, and have since decided to take it to the next step. This panel isn't done, but it is making me happy! Goodbye flowers, hello nightmares.

Dinner of Champions!

Yeah, this is my dinner. "Veggie Booty" Look how gay that little pirate is.

'Aye Aye' is right! His parrot friend is leading me to believe that even Food Package Mascots are equal opportunity and even the "special ones" can do "anything"

Everyone knows that the sign of a good vacation package is free shit. This giant blanket says "Quality Vacation" all the fuck over it. Me and my special fellow are going on an ELVIS ADVENTURE. Not really, it's just an Elvis tour package. But maybe there will be some "delicate adventures".

Oh, and I don't know who the hell that lady is. I left her in the picture for size comparison.

Maybe she's really short and that blanet is actually very small. Or maybe she is HUGE and the blanket is GIGANTIC!

I think my dog might be gay.

I got these crazy ass shoes at Old Navy today. They hit me with some hard questions. Why do these exist, and why at Old Navy? Why do I exist? Do I exist at all? What do I wear these with? You know, the deep stuff.

Update

I am wearing these shoes now, and they look like i was transported to the 70s, went on a quest, killed a magical phoenix, made shoes out of it, and they allow me to walk on fire.

its a bad picture, but can you see all those fuckers? Celebrating cultural differences can be delicious, but not when it steals my parking. Some preschool is having a fiesta in what is practically my yard and Assholes keep walking by my windows being...assholey. Fuck Fiestas.

I got a belt with a pocket! Now I have somewhere to keep my pelts.

Boozeday Tuesday! If you say it really fast, it sounds like you're already drunk!

BEATNIKS ROCK, HARD.

This movie was unusually good. Let me recommend turning on the subtitles. It gives a bit of pronunciation anticipation. Whee-hee!

Tonight I've got a hot date to watch Star Trek... THE ANIMATED SERIES. Could it be anything other than mind blowing? Animation can't even disguise the weird doughyness that is DeForest Kelly's face.

My current "inspiration" wall at work

I was at Kmart today and I found this. It called to me from the card section with a sweet song of totally bitchin embossed gold foil and crappy black flocking.

Yes, it's a velvet Elvis card. It's an OFFICIAL Elvis card. It's also the best thing EVER.

Willy is really tender with his toys. So sweet.

I finally got the internet. I think a year without is long enough