Monday, June 26, 2006

Dinner of Champions!

Yeah, this is my dinner. "Veggie Booty" Look how gay that little pirate is.

'Aye Aye' is right! His parrot friend is leading me to believe that even Food Package Mascots are equal opportunity and even the "special ones" can do "anything"

Everyone knows that the sign of a good vacation package is free shit. This giant blanket says "Quality Vacation" all the fuck over it. Me and my special fellow are going on an ELVIS ADVENTURE. Not really, it's just an Elvis tour package. But maybe there will be some "delicate adventures".

Oh, and I don't know who the hell that lady is. I left her in the picture for size comparison.

Maybe she's really short and that blanet is actually very small. Or maybe she is HUGE and the blanket is GIGANTIC!

Sunday, June 25, 2006

I think my dog might be gay.

I got these crazy ass shoes at Old Navy today. They hit me with some hard questions. Why do these exist, and why at Old Navy? Why do I exist? Do I exist at all? What do I wear these with? You know, the deep stuff.


I am wearing these shoes now, and they look like i was transported to the 70s, went on a quest, killed a magical phoenix, made shoes out of it, and they allow me to walk on fire.

Saturday, June 24, 2006

its a bad picture, but can you see all those fuckers? Celebrating cultural differences can be delicious, but not when it steals my parking. Some preschool is having a fiesta in what is practically my yard and Assholes keep walking by my windows being...assholey. Fuck Fiestas.

I got a belt with a pocket! Now I have somewhere to keep my pelts.

Boozeday Tuesday! If you say it really fast, it sounds like you're already drunk!

Friday, June 23, 2006


This movie was unusually good. Let me recommend turning on the subtitles. It gives a bit of pronunciation anticipation. Whee-hee!

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Tonight I've got a hot date to watch Star Trek... THE ANIMATED SERIES. Could it be anything other than mind blowing? Animation can't even disguise the weird doughyness that is DeForest Kelly's face.

My current "inspiration" wall at work

Monday, June 19, 2006

I was at Kmart today and I found this. It called to me from the card section with a sweet song of totally bitchin embossed gold foil and crappy black flocking.

Yes, it's a velvet Elvis card. It's an OFFICIAL Elvis card. It's also the best thing EVER.

Saturday, June 17, 2006

I finally got the internet. I think a year without is long enough